He kissed a someone with a penis
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
