in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
