She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
