Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
