what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
