im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
