She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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