Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
