You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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