I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
