just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
