You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
