dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
