There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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