I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize