Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize