I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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