Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
