im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize