walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
