Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
