The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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