Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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