I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize