Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
