I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
