And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm just crazy horny about you
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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