Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize