You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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