I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
