Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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