yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
