Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
