operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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