May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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