i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
