As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
