i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
