whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
