Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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