I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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