Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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