Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
