i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
