I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ttyl tear gas
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
