8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm really busy with my period
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