You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His nipple licking is glorious
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