it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
