I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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