Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize