i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
