Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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