I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
