Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
