a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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