Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
