Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize