I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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