And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
