after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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