this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
