YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
