Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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