As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
