there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
