he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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