She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
