She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
