I'm jealous of your bromance
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The beer is more important than you right now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize