I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
