I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
