my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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