dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
