marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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