So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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