does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
