So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
