May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
